


Third Wheeling

by ephemeralchemy



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Jace HERONDALE - Freeform, M/M, Malec, izzy lightwood - Freeform, jace wayland - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-15 18:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7232998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralchemy/pseuds/ephemeralchemy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chairman Meow is stubborn. Chairman Meow feels neglected.</p><p>Chairman Meow is going to do something about it.</p><p>A series of shorts containing Magnus and Alec's romantic escapades, each with a small mewing third-wheel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. scratches

**Author's Note:**

> There will be plenty of Malec, don't worry. Chairman won't ruin it all. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

"Magnus?" Alec called as he stepped through the unlocked apartment door, shrugging off his bow and quiver. His body held evidence that he had just been on a demon hunt - cooled sweat stuck his hair to the nape of his neck in thick, dark ringlets, and the rancid stench of demon blood reeked from his damp jacket.

He had told Jace and Izzy to go back to Institute without him, longing to see Magnus before the night ended. His yearning for Magnus's touch had settled into a constant, dull ache - noticeable even through the adrenaline from his hunt. He had convinced Jace and Izzy to leave him the moment Magnus's name came out of his mouth, but they had not gone quietly; an infuriating smirk had been instantly stamped onto Izzy's lips and Jace - oh, Jace - had executed some questionably suggestive hip movements that made Alec want to stick Jace's favorite leather jacket in the washing machine. 

"Alexander?" A soft voice called from upstairs. Magnus appeared through the shadows cast by the dim light, and descended the stairs with an inhumanely liquid grace. Alec felt a tender squeeze in his heart as Magnus approached him slowly, cautiously examining him for any wounds. Satisfied, his eyes came up to meet Alec's.

"I've missed you," he said lowly. Alec stepped forward to kiss him, but Magnus stepped back reluctantly.

"I would love to kiss you senseless right now, but I can't do that when all I smell is stale demon blood. You may look incredibly mouthwatering right now – you know, all sweaty and dirty - but you smell like a fish," he said.

Alec chuckled, “Which is exactly why you should let me kiss you.”

Magnus looked mildly horrified, “I prefer to retain my fresh sandalwood scent.”

Eyes twinkling, Alec said, “Not even a hug? I can give you a really big hug–"

“ _No_ ,” said Magnus, with his eyes crinkling at the corners and shaking his profusely.

Alec feigned hurt, “Fine, I’ll go shower then.” 

He showered quickly, not wanting to waste the valuable amount of time that he had with Magnus. He came out of the steaming bathroom in one of Magnus's sweats and a shirt a size too small that did wonders for his muscled upper body. Magnus was waiting patiently by the bed and Alec's breath caught at the sight of him - his makeup was erased and his hair was liberated from its gelled spikes, making his eyes honey soft and his hair a silky black frame against his high cheekbones.

Alec did not hesitate as he rushed forward and gripped Magnus's satin blue shirt, crushing their lips together. Magnus gasped in surprise, a smirk tugging at his lips. He pulled back just enough to say, "Missed me that much?"

Alec growled gently in the back of his throat, claiming the warlock's lips again hungrily. He wound his calloused fingers through Magnus's hair, pulling firmly and eliciting a throaty moan. He felt Magnus pressing his fingers into his hips, tugging restlessly at his tight shirt. Alec peeled his shirt off and briefly marveled at the sight of Magnus - his swollen lips, his cheeks flushed, his black hair a tousled crown on his head, and his pupils blown wide and black with excitement. He looked absolutely _wild_.

"I don't think it's fair," Alec said huskily, growing braver, "for only me to have my clothes taken off." 

"Well, if we must play fair..." Magnus trailed off, smirking. With deft fingers he unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it aside easily as the blue satin shimmered in the dim light.

Alec drank in the sight of the beautiful man in front of him - picturesque, as if he had been painted in smooth, masterful strokes without a single detail out of place. Magnus broke him out of his trance by grabbing his face and connecting their lips again, his fingers trailing down his neck, the indents of his collarbones, the strong slope of his shoulders, and making the agonizing descent down his back, his touch leaving tendrils of crackling flames in their wake. Alec attached his lips to Magnus's neck, sucking and biting lightly on the golden skin. A husky groan ripped sinfully from Magnus's throat, vibrating against Alec's lips as he bit down again on the delicate skin.

Alec didn't register the pain at first, until the second scratch clawed at his calves. He yelped and jumped back abruptly, jerking Magnus out of his blissful reverie. He looked down, and saw Chairman Meow yowling viciously with his claws out and his tail raised threateningly in the air. 

In normal circumstances, he would have laughed and been delightfully amused by the aggressiveness of Magnus's small tabby cat. But the only thing he felt now was confusion, irritation, and a mild twinge of hurt. Alec examined his borrowed sweats that were ripped at his left leg. 

"Your cat scratched me," Alec said incredulously.

The small tabby, sporting a tie-dye shirt adorned with sequins that spelled out 'CHECK MEOWT' only hissed in response.

Magnus, stupefied in shock, finally exclaimed, "Chairman!" 

Chairman Meow looked at Magnus and gingerly licked his paws, mewing innocently. Magnus was kneeling down and talking to his cat in frantic whispers. Alec, meanwhile, had rolled up his sweats and was absentmindedly running his fingers over the three raised rows that were red against the pale skin of his leg.

"Chairman, you know I adore you, but this is unacceptable. What has gotten into you?" Alec heard Magnus mutter.

Chairman Meow mewed insistently, pressing his paws onto Magnus's bare feet.

"He wasn't eating me, Chairman. He was kissing me."

Chairman mewed skeptically. 

"I appreciate it, but that makes no sense. Surely you know by now that Alec is my _boyfriend_."

Chairman only flicked his tail in response and tilted his little head to the side. 

Magnus passed a hand over his face, an amused smile tugging at his lips. Looking over at Alec, he said, "Chairman thought you were hurting me when you were kissing my neck because I was making noises. I guess we won't be getting to do any more of that tonight..."

Alec couldn’t help but laugh, "It's quite alright. Maybe he was feeling a little neglected. Come on, let's go to bed."

Magnus rose up slowly and scooped Chairman Meow into his arms. Pulling back the canary yellow sheets, he settled into bed with Alec, Chairman mewing contentedly between their warm bodies. Magnus leaned over and switched off the light with a dull click. Turning back around, he could see the silhouette of Alec in the dark as he lay on his stomach, the slope of his muscled back disappearing into the bed sheets.

"Goodnight, Alexander."

"Goodnight, Magnus." Alec responded sleepily, already drifting off.

Chairman mewed pointedly. 

"Goodnight to you too, Chairman." 

There was a pause. A soft rustling sound indicated that the cat was trying to find a comfortable position. Then, a short yelp from Alec startled Magnus out of his oncoming slumber. 

"Chairman, if you scratch my ass one more time."

The last thing Magnus heard was Chairman's soft, vibrating purr, as if he were laughing.


	2. louis vuitton demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec, Magnus, and Chairman Meow go for a little midnight stroll. It might not be as peaceful as they had planned. 
> 
> Battle couple banter ensues.

The dim light from inside the loft blended softly with the fuzzy streetlights that seeped through the silk curtains, casting eerie shapes on the walls around the two figures on the couch. Alec was lying down with his long legs sprawled out in front of him and his head in Magnus's lap. He had been on a hunt an hour before, and was still sporting his black, weapons clad shadowhunting gear. Magnus, on the other hand, was wearing a silk navy blue button up, embellished with a subtle gold trim that brought out the amber flecks in his eyes. His legs donned white-cuffed jeans and rested on the chestnut coffee table. Only a simple sapphire ring adorned his graceful hands, as he stroked his fingers lovingly through Alec's raven black hair. Chairman Meow lay curled up, purring on Alec's stomach and wrinkling his black shirt with his paws. Alec hummed contentedly from the back of his throat, and his hazel eyes flitted up from beneath his lashes to look at Magnus. 

The sight of Alec, with his beautiful eyes peering up at Magnus through a dark fringe of lashes and his jet black hair spread out like windblown feathers, tugged at Magnus's heartstrings painfully. 

"I love you," he said softly, his golden cat eyes brimming with emotion. He bent down to press a gentle kiss to Alec's forehead, feeling Alec's lashes fleetingly kiss his cheekbones as his eyelids fluttered. 

Alec sat up slowly, swinging his long legs over the edge of the couch. Chairman Meow mewed in protest as his perch on Alec's stomach disappeared and scuttled away in search of food. Alec took Magnus's face gently in his hands and his thumbs brushed his high cheekbones. Hazel green eyes stared into amber gold ones as Alec whispered, "I love you too." 

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Magnus's. He was vaguely aware of the skin on his neck burning with a steady heat under Magnus's cool fingers. His hands found themselves wound in Magnus's softly gelled hair. He gave it a firm tug to pull Magnus deeper into the kiss, making Magnus gasp into his mouth – hot and breathy and needy. Magnus returned the favor by biting down on Alec's bottom lip, grinning coyly as he did so. He smirked as Alec elicited a sinful groan that rumbled against his lips. Both of their bodies were feverish and tingling as they pressed together, burning through the thin layers of fabric that separated their bodies.

Alec slipped his fingers under Magnus's shirt and felt the heat of his body and the harsh thrumming of his pulse against his cool fingertips. He crept his hands further up Magnus's smooth golden skin, mapping and shaping the tapering of his torso, his lightly muscled stomach, and circling around to skim the indents of his spine. Alec pulled back from the kiss and reattached his lips to Magnus's neck, sucking on the delicate skin. Magnus's whimpers vibrated against Alec's lips as he left a trail of bruising love marks from just beneath his left ear to his collarbone. Magnus had his head thrown back and lips parted, panting in short gasping breaths as Alec attached his lips to his Adam's apple. Magnus made an incoherent noise from the back of his throat as he tried to speak.

Alec pulled back slightly and whispered, "What?" But he didn't give Magnus time to answer and pressed his lips to Magnus's again. Alec loved the feeling of being in control, which was relatively new for him. He had only just recently gotten braver with the warlock, and he knew now how much it got Magnus all "hot and bothered," as he called it. So it took all of Magnus's will to pull back from the wrecking pleasure of Alec's lips on his neck and the fingers that left flames trailing down his spine. 

"We," he gasped, "have to stop." 

Alec whined in protest against Magnus's lips, and said huskily, "But I was just getting started."

Magnus groaned as if pulling away from Alec had physically pained him, "Alexander, you're making it extremely difficult."

Magnus felt Alec smirk against his lips and lean his head forward, whispering and tickling his ear, "Then don't fight it."

Magnus groaned again in distress, "Believe me, I don't want to but I have–"

He was cut off by his own moan that defiantly left his lips as Alec sucked on his earlobe. "Alexander, I – oh _hell_ –," Magnus gasped, his eyes flying open as Alec moved to bit down on the delicate pressure point beneath his ear.

Alec finally pulled back and Magnus took in his devastatingly beautiful appearance – his swollen lips, his pupils blown wide, his black hair rumpled where Magnus had run his fingers through, and a smirk plastered on his lips. "I know we had to stop," he said. "I just wanted to make it difficult for you."

Magnus smacked his arm lightly, his eyes shining. "If we went further than that, I doubt that neither of us would have had the will to stop. You would have been here until morning…not that I'm complaining. But you told me you had to be back at the Institute tonight. Remind me again why Maryse needs you at such an ungodly hour? I'd rather be curled up in bed with my cat at one in the morning."

Chairman Meow mewed in agreement from somewhere in the kitchen.

Alec sighed and passed a hand over his face. Suddenly, he looked very tired. "They're in Idris and they need to discuss some important matters with me. Time zones are inconvenient."

Magnus nodded sympathetically and glanced down at his watch. Midnight. "Well," he said, "we still have an hour before you have to go. Why don't we take a walk? We could use some cooling down and I'm pretty sure Maryse will question what you've been up to if you go in looking like that." 

Alec chuckled and stood up in a fluid movement, pulling Magnus with him. Magnus snapped his fingers, and a black wool overcoat appeared over his shoulders, while the leather jacket that had been hung on the coat rack appeared on Alec's. 

Magnus grinned, "Shall we?"

Alec interlaced their fingers, "We shall."

Just before they stepped out the door, Chairman Meow came rocketing from the kitchen, mewing softly. 

"All right, Chairman," Magnus seemed to understand and held the door open, "come along."

Alec laughed lightly, and they descended the stairs together. The cold air swept through Alec's hair, bit at his cheeks, and refreshed his tired body. The only warmth he felt was the tingling point of their interlocked fingers as their warm palms pressed against each other. Chairman Meow trotted daintily ahead of them.

It was an oddly calming night. Nobody was outside besides them, and noise of cars faded into the background. The river curled against the slight breeze, reflecting the blurring lights of the cars that passed by in the distance. The Brooklyn Bridge stretched out before them, its lights competing with the stars that painted the black canvas of the clear night sky. They walked in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. Soon, they turned the corner into a small park that was spate with trees and bushes and sporadically placed lampposts. 

Chairman Meow, who had been padding softly on the sidewalk, paused suddenly. He then turned his head, mewed at Magnus and Alec, and shot off into the darkness. 

"Chairman!" Alec exclaimed. 

Magnus sighed, "It's no use, he does things on his own sometimes. He just told me he would be right back."

Alec looked simultaneously skeptical and relieved, "You know, someday you're going to have to teach me how to speak Chairman Meow."

Magnus looked sideways at him and gave him a wink, "Will do, my dear."

They continued to walk slowly for Chairman Meow's sake. Magnus opened his mouth to say something but was cut off as the lampposts in the park simultaneously flickered. Alec tensed and Magnus eyed the lights suspiciously. 

"Okay Chairman, I've never doubted your abilities but I doubt you just did that," Magnus called.

Alec looked at Magnus and shrugged; as a precaution, he slid two fingers over his right shoulder and made his bow and quiver appear.

Magnus said, "I may be old but that spooked me for a bit. I've seen far too many mundane movies and I know enough that flickering lights are followed by either a jump scare or rustling bushes."

The bushes rustled.

In one quick motion, Alec had an arrow notched onto his bow and the string pulled taut.

"I knew I shouldn't have watched so many mundane movies," Magnus groaned as he swirled blue sparks in his palms. "Demon, if you're in there and you've dared to touch even a hair on my cat, I will blow you," he paused on purpose, "into little demon smithereens."

Alec groaned, "Magnus."

"Not the time for demon sexual innuendos? I get it. Sorry."

"Magnus."

"Demon, I'll give you some of my most prized possessions in my wardrobe if you regurgitate Chairman Meow. I have Dolce & Gabbana, Versace, Louis Vuitt--"

" _Magnus_."

"What? Demons have abysmal fashion sense. Matter of fact, most of them don't wear clothes at all. Scandalous."

Alec huffed, giving up.

“I mean, _I_ like not wearing any clothes but–”

The bushes rustled wildly. Alec tensed and Magnus raised his hands, holding swirling blue spheres at the tips of his fingers. 

"Just come out already," Magnus said impatiently. Then, peeking sideways at Alec, he said, "You look hot, all tense and ready to fight."

Alec couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out of his lips, "You look hot too."

Magnus considerably brightened. "I think we make quite the battle couple, Alexander. The hot dynamic duo."

The corner of Alec's lips twitched upwards, "Magnus, shut _up_."

Alec didn't have to look at Magnus to see the smirk plastered on his lips as he said, "Make me, Alexander."

"I don't think this is the appropriate time for me to make out with you, Magnus."

"But you want to."

"You could say that."

The bushes were rustling frantically as if a strong gale of wind had concentrated on that particular area. Magnus's fingers were dancing with sizzling blue flames and Alec's bow was humming with the tension in the string.

"Raum or Ravener, Eidolon or Shax, we got this," Magnus said, and flexed his fingers pointedly.

The bushes stopped rustling. It was eerily silent save for their shallow breathing and the low hum of the nearby lampposts. Alec's blood was thrumming with the steady buzz of adrenaline. 

A small furry ball shot out of the bushes. 

Startled, Magnus jumped and froze mid finger-flex, and Alec twitched out of a fighting stance. 

There was a dead silent pause. Then, "Chairman, are you kidding me?" Alec said, exasperated. 

Magnus passed a hand over his face, stifling a chuckle. "Chairman, you ruined our chance of being a hot battle couple."

Chairman Meow only tilted his head innocently. Looking closer, Magnus could see he was holding something in his mouth.

"What do you have there?" Magnus said as the tabby cat padded towards them. "Please don't tell me that's a mouse. Please don't–"

Magnus threw up his hands in exasperation, blue sparks flying from his fingertips. "It's a mouse."

Chairman Meow stopped in front of them and the mouse dropped from his small jaws with a wet _plop_. He looked up at Magnus and Alec expectantly.

Magnus shook his head, "I guess being the pet of a warlock didn't change your mundane habits, Chairman."

Alec, meanwhile, looked helplessly confused. His shoulders had defeatedly relaxed out of the tension that had been held in them moments before, and now he was openly gaping at the mutilated mouse that lay at his feet.

Magnus, feeling sympathetic, said, "Mundane cats kill mice and bring it back to their owners as a kind of a gift." Alec gawked even more, so Magnus added quickly, "Like, we feed our cats and it's their way of giving back to us."

If anything, Alec looked more incredulous. "We're supposed to _eat_ that?"

"Well, I suppose not."

"Okay good, because for the record, I think that'll taste worse than Izzy's cooking."

"Well..."

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"I'll trust you on that. But we can't leave the mouse here. We have to take it in some way. Otherwise, Chairman will be sad."

Alec sighed, "I am _not_ touching that."

Magnus chuckled, and pressed his fingers to his face thoughtfully as he wondered how he could go about the situation without offending Chairman Meow and grossing out Alec. The little cat waited patiently at his feet, mewing softly. Alec, on the other hand, had finally accepted the sight of the cat and mangled mouse in front of him and was shifting on his feet awkwardly.

"Aha!" Magnus exclaimed suddenly, startling Alec and making Chairman Meow visibly jump. He snapped his fingers and a light blue swirl enveloped the dead mouse as it rose into the air. 

"See? We can take the mouse but we don't have to touch it. Problem solving at its finest,” he said.

Alec scoffed but Chairman Meow seemed to agree as he mewed happily at the sight of the mouse floating behind Magnus's head. Alec threw Magnus an odd look – a mixture between disbelief and amusement. 

Magnus said, "Let's head back, it's getting close to one in the morning and I don't want to make you late, Alec. Besides, I don't know what to do with this mouse."

The mouse's head lolled limply in response. Alec made a face.

And so the three of them walked back to the loft as the stars blinked against the dark expanse of the night sky with a levitating mouse trailing behind them.


End file.
